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Letters From Our Readers

Posted by admin On November - 20 - 2008
A Letter From Alison Alstrom - the-secret-lives-of-yoga-poses.com
I am newly married, after almost seven years of courtship, and  negotiation, and commitment and re commitment. My now husband and I lived together during much of that time; sharing resources and money, supporting each other through emotional hardships and enjoying eachothers families and friends. A year and a half ago, we even bought a house together, and moved together from the city that was our home to somewhere where we hardly knew anyone. Most people thought we were married already, and others didn’t see, after all that, that there was any point it it. Superfluous, they said. Redundant.
But I am here to tell you, being married is different from being “together.”
I love being married. Marriage feels like a thing that we hold, my husband and I, separate from us yet of us, somehow, almost in the way I imagine a child will be. Being married is like an emotional asset that we share, that we can fall back on during challenges that face us, and that we protect and nourish as partners. We promised to remain at one another’s side, and we each heard the other do the same. That is both a powerful responsibility and a tremendous comfort, an affirmation of worthiness I never thought to wish for. And we made these promises publically. We said I do, and we meant it, and those words ring in our home like both a solemn echo, and a bubbling spring of giddy joy.
I have always said, like so many of us have, that I just “couldn’t understand” why some people would want to deny this experience to others. But now that I am married - I am beginnning to. A friend of mine, also married, guided me toward this new understanding by pointing out that the feeling of “marriedness” I am newly experiencing is a transpersonal one, that through joining the ranks of billions of married couples from the dawn of society, I have tapped into a new level of the collective consciousness. And because of that, what being married is is a sharing in the entity that is marriedness with all married people everywhere, an entity that has been built and defined by a collective of billions of human hearts.
>While planning my wedding I had the revelation that this party was not really for me, or even for my fiancee and me. We had already made and tried our commitment to one another in private, between us. The wedding celebration was about sharing that commitment with our community. And likewise, being married doesn’t just concern those signing the documents end co-filing their taxes, but connects them to all people who have made that commitment before them. In becoming married, we join the ranks of humans who have taken a solemn vow to love one another, and in taking that vow, to validate eachother as individuals.
That is what frightens people. It’s not that “homosexuals,” the current metaphor for “that person who is separate from me” will join souls with each other. People are fearful of the fact that when homosexuals legally marry they will be joining souls with us. That they will join us as we continue to build the collective entity of “marriedness.” They are fearful of the fact that it will, and it will, dilute the relevance of qualities that definine us as separate - not just gay and straight, but man and woman, too. It will strip away one more layer of convention and get us closer to the crux of what love is, of what we are. Marriage is not about the husband and the wife. When we get married, we celebrate love itself in the form of our beloved, by placing the health of that love at the top of our list of priorities. We recognize that there is something bigger than our personalized identity, something, call it nature or god or love itself, that supports that identity, and ultimately contains it.
I believe that for many people whose spirituality is wrapped up in organized religion, that “something bigger” has become obscured by the very traditions which were established to honor it. And these traditions that now hold us back from expanding our understanding of love, deny love. They deny god. They stifle our spirits. They stifle our freedom. Not just their freedom, our freedom.
Proposition 8 can’t last. It will be overturned, because it comprimises one of the fundamental concepts that this country is built on. It is simply anti American, not to mention wrong, to stand in the way of the pursuit of happiness of our citenzenry. But I think it is helpful to clarify the issue.
I sat down to write about this after a conversation with my father, a voter and a Californian who, while not a supporter of prop 8, was not particularly passionate about opposing it. He voted no, but he had friends that voted yes, and in his words, he “could kind of see where they were coming from.” Please understand, my father is an exemplary human being. He is moral and strong and deeply compassionate and very smart, and left leaning to boot. I’m sure his friends voting for this constitutional amendment that childishly hoards one of life’s deepest joys for “us” and keeps it away from “them” are good people too. I in fact believe that the majority of the supporters of prop 8, even those suffering from homophobia, or some other brand of fear of the unknown, are good people.
But as human beings we are evolving toward unity and away from separateness. If this matters to you then Gay Marriage matters. If putting love back into god, if maintaining the integrity of the spiritual evolution of humanity matters to you, than stripping away the training wheels of our traditional definition of marriage matters.

Alison Alstrom Blog: the-secret-lives-of-yoga-poses.com

Poem from Christina
My Country
This great country we call home,
With our shabby little houses and our lawns over grown,
Full of people with voices,
People with opinions,
Who are given wonderful choices.We make difference choices every day,
And each of us goes a different way.
Some of us are straight,
Some of us are gay,
Some of us say America is Great.

But how can you think in such a way,
When My Country can cast me away because I am gay?
Cast me aside like a broken doll,
And not even care at all?
These tears are real,
And so is the love I feel.
Stop saying it’s wrong.
Stop saying it’s a sin.
Or I’ll say “So long.”
And you’ll never see me again.

I love her,
And I will be with her forever.
And one day I too,
Would like to say “I do”.

We have the same skin,
We breath the same air,
We even share kin,
And live without a care.

Yet on that day,
You took my dreams away.
To marry I must be straight,
According to Proposition Eight.

I am forced to flee my home,
To find somewhere to accept me.
A place I can call my own,
That won’t be so blind to see,
That I love her,
And she loves me.

A Letter From Garrett - eyebite.com
Home for the holidays? Looking for a way to discuss homophobia with your family and friends? Don’t go home without your Conversation Kit!!!

For the first time, Woman Vision and EyeBite Productions are making the contents of their award winning DVD Unlearning Homophobia available, free of charge, online. We take this step because polling data have shown that relatively few of us in the LGBT communities have had conversations with our circle of straight family, friends, employers, and co-workers about the anti-gay initiatives that have permeated our ballots in recent years. Some of us are not out. Others don’t feel comfortable discussing controversial issues such as gay marriage in our straight networks. Most of us need help to start the conversation. This is why we created the Conversation Kit.

These discussions have never been more urgent. This November, anti gay amendments or initiatives passed in California, Florida, Arkansas, and Arizona. Many in the straight community don’t understand that these measures are NOT just about lgbt marriage. They affect hundreds of rights, such as hospital visitation, adoption, and medical leave. In all, these amendments strip the courts, cities, towns, and other government entities of any ability to protect lgbt and straight, unmarried families.

Fortunately, we in the LGBT communities have a vast untapped resource—ourselves! Our videos Straight from the Heart, All God’s Children, and De Colores have begun thousands of discussions that have ended with LGBTs helping straight folks understand the very personal impact of these discriminatory measures .The documentaries directly and specifically address issues of religion and homosexuality. The videos specifically target 3 distinct church-going communities: White, African American, and Latino. Take these videos home, start a conversation, change the world!!
We welcome gay and lesbian websites to link or embed these films into their site for easy viewing. DVDs and downloadable discussion guides are available at WomanVision.org and EyeBite.com.

Link to Straight from the Heart: http://vimeo.com/2303335
Link to All God’s Children: http://vimeo.com/2304279
Link to De Colores: http://vimeo.com/2303777
Link to “Behind the Scenes” http://vimeo.com/2302993

The Videos:

Straight from the Heart explores parents’ journeys to a new understanding of their lesbian and gay children by presenting simple stories about real people: a police chief who talks about how proud he is of his lesbian daughter, a Mormon couple whose son is believed to be the first gay man in Idaho to have died from AIDS, and a black woman and her two lesbian daughters who had been accused of “catching” their lesbianism from white people. This video clearly shows that prejudice against gays and lesbians is a form of bigotry inseparable from other manifestations of prejudice, particularly racism. Interviewees include PFLAG’s Mitzi Henderson; Edmond L. Browning, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church; Police Chief Tom Potter; and Michael Bussee, Founder of Exodus International.

1995 Academy Award Nomination, Documentary Short Subject
First Pro-Gay/Lesbian Film Screened for the U.S. Congress
Finalist, 1995 National Short Film Festival
Screening Honoree, 1994 Denver International Film Festival
Screening Honoree, 1995 Hot Springs Documentary Festival
Screening Honoree, 1995 - 1996 UCLA 14th Annual Contemporary Documentary Series

All God’s Children presents a political, social, and religious analysis of sexual orientation within the context of the traditional African-American values of freedom, inclusion, and the Christian love ethic. Through the voices of politicians, religious leaders, academics, family members, and activists, All God’s Children vividly illustrates the human toll exacted upon society by the unspoken stigmatization and alienation of lesbians and gay men. Respected religious and political leaders, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rev. James Forbes, Rev. Carol L. Murray, Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Senator Carol Moseley-Braun, Mayor Ken Reeves, and Cornel West call for spiritual reconciliation and a commitment to equal rights and social justice for all people.

Best Documentary, 1996 National Black Arts Film Festival
Best Film on Matters Relating to the “Black Experience”
1996 Black International Cinema Competition
Special Merit Award, 1996 National Black Programming Consortium
Prized Pieces Film and Video Competition
Apple Award, 1997 National Educational Media Network
Lambda Liberty Award, 1997 Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund
Screening Honoree, 1997-1998 Council on Foundations Film Festival Series

De Colores is a bilingual 28-minutes documentary about how Latino families are replacing the deep roots of homophobia with the even deeper roots of love and tolerance. Through moving personal stories we learn about how families are breaking cultural barriers and how love always prevails.

Best Documentary Short, Los Angeles Lesbian and Gay Film Festival 2001
Best of Show, Berkeley Video Festival 2001
Grand Jury Award: Best Documentary Short 2002
New York Independent International Film and Video Festival
Screening Honoree: San Diego Latino Film Festival, 2002
Screening Honoree: Festival International Del Nuevo Cine Latinoamericano, Habana, Cuba, 2001
Screening Honoree: Mix Mexico 2002, Mexico City
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